There I was, an executive assistant to the top executive in my organization, doing everything in my power to support them to the best of my ability. I had attended countless training sessions, networked with brilliant EAs from around the world, and knew all the best practices. Yet, despite my dedication and expertise, I wasn’t invited to attend the leadership meetings—the very place where crucial decisions were being made.
I can’t tell you how frustrating it was. I knew how much value I could add if only I were in that room. It wasn’t just about taking notes or scheduling follow-ups; it was about understanding the strategy, seeing the dynamics firsthand, and anticipating the needs of my executive before they even asked. But each time I saw the door to that meeting close without me, I couldn’t help but doubt myself. Why wasn’t I included? What was I missing?
The first time I asked to attend, I didn’t have a solid plan—I just went for it, thinking my dedication and eagerness would be enough. The answer was a flat no, and it stung. I felt like I’d hit a wall, and at that moment, I wondered if I’d ever been seen as more than just an admin. But deep down, I knew I wasn’t alone. I knew many of us administrative professionals had faced that same rejection, wanting so badly to prove our worth but not knowing how to make it happen.
After the disappointment of that first attempt, I decided I needed a new approach. I regrouped, strategized, and enlisted the help of another EA to role-play my ask. This time, I went in with a clear plan, focusing not on my desire to attend the meeting but on how my presence would directly benefit my executive. I explained that if I were in the room, I could streamline communication, stay ahead of shifting priorities, and provide crucial insights on team dynamics. The conversation went much better—but still, the answer was no. I left that second meeting feeling deflated but wasn’t ready to give up.
The third time, I knew I needed a different tactic. Instead of asking for a permanent seat, I proposed a pilot – a trial period to show the value of my presence at those meetings. I outlined exactly how I could help by being aware of real-time decisions, preparing briefing materials, and providing feedback that would save my executive time and effort. And finally, that strategy worked! The answer was yes. I got my chance to sit at the table, and once I was there, I made sure to deliver. I consistently added value, provided insights, and earned my permanent seat.
Looking back, that journey was not just about getting a seat at the table; it was about believing in my own value and finding the strategy that worked. It reminded me that even when the door is shut, persistence, preparation, and a clear plan can help you open it again.
“Persistence and resilience only come from having been given the chance to work through difficult problems.”
-Gever Tulley
This quote reminds us to keep pushing forward and not to accept “no” as the final answer when it comes to our
worth and potential.
Three-Part Strategy for Negotiating Success
- Preparation: Set the Foundation
- Research and gather information to justify your request.
- Clarify your goals and anticipate objections.
- Role-play with a trusted colleague to refine your approach.
- Communication: Deliver with Confidence
- Craft a compelling message that highlights the value you bring.
- Practice your delivery to ensure you communicate clearly and effectively.
- Stay calm and professional, even if the answer isn’t what you hoped for.
- Follow-Up: Reinforce the Agreement
- Propose a trial period to demonstrate your value.
- Follow through with actions that showcase your contributions.
- Celebrate the small wins and milestones as you earn your seat at the table.
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“Peggy takes you on her journey to finding joy and success through embracing support in lieu of sabotage. As someone who has experienced bullying personally, I find taking the higher road feels so much more powerful. Surrounding yourself with those that are unconditionally in your corner is invaluable
As for the remaining mean girls, continue to kill them with kindness and don’t step into their mess. You are always in charge of your response. I learned this first in words shared by Victor Frankl in Man’s Search for Meaning, and the principles shared by Peggy mirror this.
Peggy’s powerful message reaffirms this. To INNER CIRCLE’s and supporting each other.”
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You Deserve a Seat at The Table!
Remember, just because the door hasn’t opened for you yet, doesn’t mean it won’t. It’s not about settling for the “no” but preparing yourself for the moment you turn it into a “yes.” The strategies I shared today aren’t only tips; they’re a mindset shift. They’re about recognizing your value, standing your ground, and showing others what you already know—that you belong at that table.
Let’s take this journey together. Download the detailed handout, dive deeper into the strategies, and start turning those closed doors into open opportunities. I believe in your potential, and I’m here to help you every step of the way.
Here’s to earning your seat and making your voice heard!
With determination and support,
Peggy
